I have so few precious pieces left to give. I feel I must protect them, to keep me whole. Until I find someone I can trust with precious me again. But not protected with walls. Or, barbed wire. Or, coldness. Or, fear.
Perhaps they would be best protected with love, warmth, laughter, simplicity, kindness, gentleness, a sigh, a whisper?
Do I need to explain precious pieces? I think women will understand what I mean. I see and hear of women and girls giving away their precious pieces, to men and boys who have no intention of staying with them. Oh, some will stay for more than a night, or two. But, eventually, these women and girls will wish they had those pieces of themselves that were given without love. Some will become hardened by the giving of themselves. That is truly sad. When the pleasure wears off, and the pain sets in, we are left with ourselves, alone and wondering. We are worth so much more than that. We are all precious, you know.
5 comments:
I do not know how to answer this, other than to say it happens both directions.
I'm glad to know that, truly. I always wondered what a man's perspective is regarding the giving of oneself, in a most intimate way.
Did you hope it would make the woman/girl stay? Did you ever have a woman promise to protect those pieces of you, and then renege on the promise? Did it harden you? I hope my tone doesn't put you on the defensive, I am really curious. I have never talked to a man about such things before.
I enjoy your blog Fram. Sometimes you post things I have thought about asking you. Thanks for becoming a bonafide blogger.
The first girl ever to walk on me happened the summer between sixth and seventh grades.
More seriously, I left one that I probably should have stayed with.
I have been left once, and I still have no idea why. It has taken me about two years to get over her.
Leave comments at my blog if the mood strikes you. That is why it is there
Gosh, that was painful to read but very true.
I invested all I had in one that I loved and that loved me. I thought that it would be so forever. It has taken me 2 years since he changed his mind to gather the pieces of me properly back together again.
I am no longer sad, but, like you, I'm keeping the pieces to myself for now, at least. I think (I hope) I will know when I meet someone in whom I feel safe to invest them again.
Katy,
Thanks for sharing. I too am hopeful, and patient. I am still stinging from my break-up. As much as it hurts some days, I am glad to know I am not numb anymore.
Peace, Boni
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