Sunday, April 19, 2009

What an awesome responsibility

We have to the children in our lives.

I had decided in my teens, that if I didn't have children by the time I was 25, I was not going to have children. I can understand, to some degree, why this upset people. One man I worked with told me my choice could be keeping the world from knowing the next Albert Einstein, or the person to discover a cure for some dreaded disease. He wondered how I could make that decision.

For me it was an easy choice. A selfish choice perhaps. One reason was because I didn't want the responsibility of my child looking up at me, to be told everything would be okay, then having everything not be okay. I know, I know, disappointments are a part of life. Do they have to start at a young age?

Another reason is that I never felt I was "mother" material. The motherly instinct stuff always seemed to be missing from me. I know to wipe a child's nose, and such. I guess I just never aspired to be a mom. I was always okay with my decision.

The other day, I heard a father say to his crying child, "You want to cry? I don't care, I'll give you a reason to cry." Wow! I wondered how often the little boy heard that. How sad. Then I hoped the little boy is shown enough love from the rest of the family, to offset the negative energy he gets from his father. How many years of therapy will that child go through when he is an adult? Even more importantly, how will he be with his own children?

Children should be innocent. They should laugh and play, and be. We as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, care givers, or whatever authority figure we are, have a responsibility to the children in our lives. To teach them right from wrong, teach them to tie their shoes, teach them the A-B-C's and 1-2-3's, etc. We are to protect them, not hurt them. They are little souls, little people, that will grow up to be big people who have learned and watched and lived what we have taught them. They need us to love them unconditionally and fully.

I can do it, can you?


Fram said...

You are deep and heavy tonight, Boni, but I think you are right.

its_me_in_montana said...

There is too much bad happening to children these days, read it in the news. The bad things happening to adults, should not be taken out on their children.

As always Fram, thanks for stopping by. I had a 'stang in the '80's. My mom and I went cross country to California in that baby. I got my only speeding ticket in that thing. Sweet! (Except for the 3 starters I had to put in it).

One Womans Life said...

Hi! I think your stance is wonderful. I am the mother of 5 people and people assume that I would expect else to have and want kids. Now that mine are grown, I can tell you that it was hard work. This was the right path for me and I do not regret it but I congratuate other people who know themselves and their own purposes well enought to make the choice you did. If fewer people had kids by default it would probably be a happier world.